“People don’t commit suicide, they complete it.” – Patrick Kennedy

For the many people who have ever been told and still believe that cannabis is bad, unhealthy, addictive, and might make you crazy until you commit some kind of murder or rape, this failed propoganda could not be further from the truth.

(If you need help right now, please call the Suicide Prevention Hotline- 1-800-273-8255 or click the suicide hotline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/)

As a medical cannabis patient who has been using it daily for the past 7 years I can tell you that it hasn’t had a negative effect on my life. I haven’t actually found anything but wellness and healing from taking it.

One of the serious reasons that I take cannabis is for depression. I’ve especially found that during my darkest mental moments, I only experience peace and more life when I use cannabis.

Cannabis is one singular, but very substantial, thing that I use in multiple ways as part of the healthy lifestyle that I strive to live. In the big picture, all of the things I actively do to keep my whole self healthy appears to be paying off.

For example, a few weeks ago something significant happened, suicide was taken off the table as a life option. Since then my mental health and wellbeing made a positive turn.

Repeat. Suicide was mentally taken off the table as a life option.

From the age of 12 I have privately found some kind of deep dark comfort in the fact that if things got too bad, I could just off myself and all problems will be solved and my pain will disappear. This, my friends, is mental illness and depression at its most honest place. 

For some reason, I woke up one morning and said I no longer accept suicide as a life option. It was a new, strange voice inside of me saying that killing myself is not something I truly want or ever need to resort to. Ever since then, when I catch myself having dark thoughts this new voice emerges reminding me I don’t think that way anymore, it’s off the table.

I have to admit that more than once since then I have actually found it annoying to have my comfort of a suicide option taken away. Quickly, I remind myself what that means and how far I have come in my mental wellness work. After decades of mental anguish, I no longer want to kill myself. It makes me smile inside and out to feel free of such heaviness.

While all of this is super positive, I’ll be honest and tell you that it has also involved some  sleepless nights, necessary outside walks, and moments of sobbing out my soul. The dark racing thoughts and deep seated anxiety are some of the things that I have found soothing relief from with cannabis.

I’m not so presumptuous as to think I’ll never struggle with suicidal thoughts again but I definitely have to take this moment and celebrate it for all it’s worth.

It is not easy to write and share this stuff but I know that there are many people out there who deal with depression too and I think it is important to talk about it as easy as we talk about going to lunch. A mental health and wellness lifestyle is something to be embraced not just to keep from killing oneself, but to create true, positive change.

I write about cannabis and depression as often as my sensitive heart can because personally knowing how the two work together changed my perspective on mental health and my long term health treatment plan for managing depression and chronic pain. 

I also write to give hope to the many people out there who deserve better than to dwell under heavy clouds of despair that hold them down.

If you need help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Hotline- 1-800-273-8255 or click the suicide hotline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Pam Dyer is a Holistic Health Coach who trains people with scoliosis and chronic illness how they can improve sleep, gut health, immunity, and brain function to live full and hurt less.  To book a consult with Pam please email:  butterflysessions@gmail.com